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am i a bad person for having boundaries with bf?

2020.09.23 10:44 trofrtaljka am i a bad person for having boundaries with bf?

i'm 19f, he is 19m and we have been dating for a year and a half
i have pretty terrible social anxiety and i have a lot of trouble sleeping. i have a whole routine i need to do before i even attempt to fall asleep. this is my first week of uni and i want to sleep at least 8h every day.
sometimes i tell my bf things or do smth that he doesn't agree with. which is okay we all have our opinions (nothing illegal or bad here, just really small things). and i like it when we talk about things like that but not before sleeping. because he never wants to acknowledge that i might be right and i'm left crying and feeling like a terrible person. i told him 10000 times that it's okay to tell me that he disagrees with me but not before bed.
so yesterday i told him that i wanted to adopt a puppy. all my classes will be online so i basically see another living creature when i go to the store or when i see him or my parents on weekends. i have a dog back home and i've had a lot of cats. i'm pretty responsible i think. this was the first time i got excited about something, even if i don't do it now it's something i can look forward to. i did my routine and was falling asleep and he sent me like 10 msgs that woke me up. he then deleted them because he thought i was asleep. so i called him because i thought the msgs were some cheesy emotional things that he was embarrassed about (that happens sometimes). so i called him. and he told me that he didnt think adopting a dog would be a good idea. and then i hung up, had to do my routine all over again because i had this new anxiety and cried before falling asleep at 2am (i initially went to bed at 11pm).
so i apologized for being annoying and asking the same thing every night but i'm not sure if i was in the wrong. i support healthy conflict but not after around 9pm because then i just dont sleep. i dont want to be on meds again.
submitted by trofrtaljka to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 10:36 velociraptor75 An all-up guide to Manjaro Gnome: From installing to final final tweaked desktop

An all-up guide to Manjaro Gnome: From installing to final final tweaked desktop
I've been using Manjaro for a couple of years now, and I love how responsive, stable and reliable it is. Over numerous installations across several machines (and collating best practices from many great online resources -- including Manjaro's excellent forums) this is my go-to checklist: from system installation to tweaked desktop. NOTE: Many of the choices of apps and tweaks here are my own personal choices -- you're likely to go with something completely different. But that's one of the beautiful things about Linux: choice!
So, here goes...
Create the boot disk/CD
  1. Download the relevant Manjaro Gnome ISO from here
  2. Verify file integrity:
    1. Linux: [sha1sum or sha256sum] [ISO Image] Eg. sha1sum ISO_NAME OR sha256sum ISO_NAME
    2. Windows: Download and use the MD5& SHA Checksum Utility
  3. Copy this to a thumb drive using the Rufus bootable thumb drive creator (in Windows) or Popsicle/balenaEtcher (Linux). Preferably select GPT/UEFI when creating the bootable thumb drive. Note: With Rufus, selecting the DD mode is more reliable than the file mode when creating the image.
  4. Selecting UEFI will boot into EFI mode, otherwise it will launch in MBBIOS mode. NOTE: To set up Manjaro in EFI mode (recommended, for almost every system built in the last decade,) make sure ‘Launch CSM’ and ‘Secure Boot’ is disabled in BIOS, otherwise it will launch in a Legacy mode that emulates BIOS. The mode the system is booted in will be the mode Manjaro Linux will be eventually installed in: UEFI or legacy BIOS.

Installing Manjaro

  1. Boot using the thumb drive created above. From the Live environment boot menu:
    1. Select free or non-free drivers. (Choose free for Intel, non-free for Radeon/Nvidia)
    2. Select system language/numbers and dates format (I use US English -- en_US.UTF-8 in the list of choices)
  2. After booting into the Live environment:
    1. When choosing automatic partitioning, remember to select the correct target drive! I generally choose Erase disk, Swap (with Hibernate).
    2. For manual partitioning, see this guide. Use Gparted, and delete all existing partitions on the target drive. Then choose New Partition Table, Select GUID (GPT), and click OK. To install Manjaro, you need i) A FAT 32 boot partition, ii) Swap space, iii) The Root file system, iv) Home partition (if not defined, it will be created as part of the Home partition). Set up the drive’s partitions as suggested below. TIP: If resizing partitions, do this first in Gparted and then launch the installation. Resizing drive partitions in Manjaro takes far longer.
HINT: If you happen to have two drives in your system, configure the Swap partition on a different drive from the one your boot/root/home directory is on.
  1. Proceed as guided by the remainder of the Manjaro Installer.

Things to do after first install

System/Performance tweaks
  1. Start Pamac (Add/Remove software) and select the best server repository In Preferences, enable checking for updates and set this to every 24 hours. Enable AUR. Then update the system.
  2. Install Preload from Pamac, then run it using admin privileges (for faster application startup)
  3. Date and Time Set to Automatic
  4. Disable GRUB delay (Quicker system startup):
    1. sudo nano /etc/default/grub
    2. Change GRUB_TIMEOUT value to ‘0’
    3. Set GRUB_TIMEOUT_STYLE to ‘hidden’ (and not ‘menu’) for a silent, faster bootup
  5. Power management:
    1. TLP: Make sure TLP is installed and running with tlp-stat -s (check for ‘active’ status.) If not installed, do so from Pamac, installing tlp and tlp-rdw [Optional] Install the GUI for the app (tlpui from Pamac)
    2. Install Thermald
  6. Reduce Swappiness (sets the system to depend less on Swap):
    1. Swappiness value should ideally be 10. Check Swappiness value with: cat /proc/sys/vm/swappiness
    2. Create the config file sudo nano /etc/sysctl.d/100-manjaro.conf
    3. In the above file enter: vm.swappiness=10
    4. Save the file (CTRL+O), enter, and exit (CTRL+X)
    5. The feature takes effect on restart
  7. Check TRIM for SSD drives (for extending life): systemctl status fstrim.timer The command should return a response indicating it is enabled by default. If not, enable by typing the command sudo systemctl enable fstrim.timer
  8. Run Gufw (Firewall) and enable
  9. [Optional] Disable Bluetooth service from loading at startup:
    1. To list enabled services: systemctl list-unit-files --type=service grep enabled
    2. To disable services from loading at boot: sudo systemctl disable bluetooth.service
    3. If you really want it dead, where other services can’t restart it: sudo systemctl mask bluetooth.service
    4. To stop the service: sudo systemctl stop bluetooth.service
    5. To verify that service is disabled: systemctl status bluetooth.service
  10. [Optional] Disable the Ethernet interface if it isn’t being used and is utilizing too much power. This is done by disabling kernel modules
    1. Run mkinitcpio -M to show all automatically detected modules
    2. Should look like ‘r8169’ for the Ethernet card
    3. Create a .conf file inside /etc/modprobe.d/ and append a line for each module you want to blacklist, using the blacklist keyword. Eg.
# Do not load the 'pcspkr' module on boot.
blacklist pcspkr
install module_name /bin/true
  1. Regenerate initramfs with sudo mkinitcpio -P, and reboot.
  2. To regain Ethernet access, repeat this process, commenting ‘#’ the lines added to the .conf file.
NOTE: The following section is entirely optional. At this point, you can straightaway jump into using your newly-installed Manjaro!

Desktop environment / app tweaks

The steps below reflect my personal desktop preferences (Manjaro Gnome). You may of course want to configure your desktop differently, based on your own preference:
  1. Launch Layouts and choose ‘Traditional’. Also make sure ‘Automatic Dark Theme’ is diabled.
  2. Settings:
    1. Keyboard shortcuts:
      1. Search for ‘Switch windows’ and add the shortcut ALT+TAB (replace existing)
      2. Scroll to the bottom and add
    2. Power:
      1. Bluetooth: ‘Off’
      2. Automatic Suspend: ‘On’
      3. Power button Action: ‘Power Off’
    3. Files history & Trash:
      1. Disable File history if needed
      2. Toggle on to automatically delete temp files and trash
    4. Keyboard and mouse:
      1. Search for Universal Access
      2. Search for Touchpad, disable Natural Scrolling
  3. Install Chrome:
    1. Start Pamac and search for Chrome in the AUR packages
    2. After installing, font size (of browser content) can be increased in Chrome Settings (Eg for a 1080p display. Set Page zoom to 110%, Font size: Medium). Set this in conjunction with ‘Scaling Factor’ in Gnome Tweaks Fonts.
    3. If not already picked up after logging into Google, change Chrome theme to Morpheon Dark.
    4. Disable tab hover cards by typing chrome://flags/#tab-hover-cards then selecting ‘Disable’.
    5. See this site on enabling hardware rendering in Chrome:
      1. Go to chrome://settings and expand Advanced at the bottom
      2. Scroll to the bottom, locate and make sure the Use hardware acceleration when available option is enabled.
      3. Type chrome://gpu. Most entries should have the words ‘Hardware accelerated’.
      4. To force hardware acceleration for even more features, open chrome://flags
      5. Locate the section on that page called Override software rendering list and change ‘Disabled’ to ‘Enabled’.
      6. When you now check chrome://gpu, more settings should be Hardware Acceleration enabled.
  4. I love my desktop clean! Right-click desktop Settings uncheck toggles for desktop icons
  5. Right-click Panel (Dash to Panel settings):
    1. Position Stack ‘Date menu’ lower down, until it shows up to the extreme right
    2. Style Panel size: 32, App icon margin and padding (choose what looks best)
    3. Style Scroll to bottom, Override panel theme background opacity, set Panel background opacity to 85% (or whatever looks best with the selected wallpaper)
    4. Fine-tune
      1. Tray font size: 0 (theme default)
      2. Status icon padding: -1 (theme default)
    5. Extensions Disable Arc Menu
  6. Gnome Tweaks
    1. General Over-Amplification (as needed)
    2. Fonts
      1. Scaling factor: 1.2 (works well for my 1080p laptop display. Play around and see what works best for you. This changes fonts system-wide: UI as well as web page text) OR change the font sizes of Interface, Document, Monospace etc.
      2. Antialiasing Subpixel (for LCD screens)
    3. Top bar
      1. Enable Battery percentage
      2. Clock: Enable Weekday, Date, Seconds
    4. Windows Titlebars Enable Maximize and Minimize
    5. Appearance Applications: Adwaita-maia-dark, Cursor: Xcursor-breeze, Icons: Papirus-Dark-Maia, Shell: Adwaita-maia-dark Note: Installing other themes sometimes mess with the appearance of other apps (eg. Kdenlive not rendering the dark theme correctly.)
  7. install Gnome extensions from (requires a browser plugin for control). I like keeping it simple -- my preferred extensions are:
    1. Sound Input & Output Device Chooser
    2. Clock Override: Configure the Add-on, and enter the following text for preferred date and time: %A, %d %b '%y ~ %l:%M:%S %p
    3. Dim On Battery Power: Set screen brightness for battery (~50) and plugged in (~100)
    4. Remove Accessibility (Removes the accessibility button from the panel, if present)

Install key software

Remember to enable the Arch User Repository (AUR) in Pamac Preferences.
  1. Mark each the following in Pamac before installing in one go.
    1. gThumb Image Viewer, a quick image file viewer
    2. Timeshift (for system snapshots, not user data backups). Settings RSYNC, Schedule 2 snapshots weekly, exclude user home directory, select date format. See this tutorial.
    3. Popsicle (for formatting and writing images to USB thumb drives)
    4. MS fonts: Install ttf-ms-fonts in Pamac
    5. KeePassXC (password manager), from main repository
    6. uGet (Download manager)
    7. VeraCrypt (Encryption tool)
    8. qBitTorrent (Torrent client)
    9. Gimp (image editing)
    10. Kdenlive: Video editor. Settings Color Theme to ‘KvBlender’. (See Getting started)
  2. Tor Browser: (Detailed instructions)
    1. Download the Linux package from the Tor website
    2. Extract the files
    3. To install Tor so you can launch it from system:
      1. Move the Tor directory ‘tor-browser_en-US’ to /opt: sudo mv tor-browser_en-US /opt
      2. cd /opt/tor-browser_en-US
      3. Run ./start-tor-browser.desktop --register-app
      4. The Tor icon will now show up when you search for it, and can be launched as with any app
    4. To run from the directory itself:
      1. In the terminal, go to the Tor browser directory it was unzipped to
      2. To launch Tor, run: ./tor-browser_en-US/Browsestart-tor-browser &
    5. Install the Adblock Plus extension
  3. Games
    1. Install Steam (then go to Steam Settings Steam Play, and check ‘Enable Steam Play for all other titles’. Note: I found Proton 5.0-9 had stability issues; choose a lower version if needed. Install your favourite games Mine are:
      1. TrackMania Nations Forever
      2. The Secret of Monkey Island
      3. Monkey Island 2: Special Edition
      4. Kentucky Route Zero
      5. Flight Sims: X-Plane (from Steam) or FlightGear (Open Source)
    2. [Optional] Install Lutris (to manage games across sources)
      1. Search for and install games from
      2. Import all installed games
  4. [Optional] lmms: Sound sequencer and synth
  5. Add favourite programs to Taskbar, then lock taskbar.
… and you’re done!
Hope this helps, folks. Shout out in case of recommendations/feedback.
submitted by velociraptor75 to ManjaroLinux [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 09:38 abc360phh Stress be Released!

Handling Stress as an Online Teacher

Teaching online is a challenge than most people think. True, working in a comfortable environment has its ups but it can only get so good. The usual pressure with working remotely is getting everything right by yourself.
No man is alone and all of us need other people to interact with. After all, we are all social creatures. In a classroom teachers interact with their students and colleagues personally. But not so much with online teaching.
If you are an online teacher, here are a few tips to help you relax an be calm with you role.

Be sociable. Meet friends and colleagues from time to time. This is a great way to hear what they have to say and at the same time, air out your opinion. Spend time away from your gadgets. Try reading an actual book, go on walks, the beach, the mall. Do your hobbies.
Take care of yourself. Physically you may seem fine but not having enough sleep and exercise, one of the many hazards of online teaching, can lead to stress. Your body needs to recharge as well. Do not forget to have quality sleep and soak up some Vitamin D.
Modify not complain. There are things in your teaching life that you have no control over.Technology mishaps can happen. Sometimes your student did not understand the lesson as well as you wanted them to. We are, after all, humans and we have limitations. It is best to work around these unfortunate situations. Do away with complaining and unwanted situations, instead find other solutions for any changes you may face while working and teaching in a digital environment.
Everybody gets stressed. Let’s face it. Working remotely adds more to the ordinary stressors. But a positive outlook can do wonders immensely.
Are you positive at heart? Come and join us.
Check out this link and we will welcome you with open arms.

Follow our official pages below and be more familiar with us.

(no date). Robyn D. Shulman, M.Ed.. 5 WAYS ONLINE TEACHERS CAN MANAGE STRESS.
submitted by abc360phh to u/abc360phh [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 09:32 VictoriaCresit [OFFER] I will read your fortune/destiny based on classical Chinese astrology

Before you brush me off, hear me out. I am a student of classical Chinese Astrology/Metaphysics. This is not the same as the "Feng Shui Remedies" you find online that tell you to "Place a money plant in the X corner of your room and you will be rich overnight".
What I will do is read your fortune/destiny based on Qi Men Dun Jia (QMDJ - more on this below).
What do you get?
After giving me your birth date and time, you will get a 2 or 3-page PDF with 10 sections extracted from a QMDJ text. Each section will contain brief descriptions on a person's:
  1. General Luck
  2. Personality & Inner Self
  3. Health
  4. Relationships & Marriage
  5. Family & Children
  6. Academic & Talents
  7. Business
  8. Career & Wealth
  9. Ambition
  10. Overall Forecast
I'll compile, prepare and send you the PDF containing the exact reading, which will have been translated into English from the ancient text originally written in Mandarin.
What is QMDJ?
QMDJ is an ancient form of divination from China. Originally utilized for warfare (best date, time and direction to launch attacks), QMDJ is also used for forecasting, destiny reading, feng shui audits and date selection.
QMDJ works in tandem with another school of Chinese Astrology called BaZi (4 Pillars of Destiny) and thus, QMDJ readings provide a complimentary method of analysis to BaZi readings. Both systems rely on the same principles and can be very accurate, but QMDJ is valued especially for its forecasting abilities.
Please see the FAQ below for more.
Is this accurate?
You may be surprised as to just how accurate it can be! However, as with any basic astrology reading, do not expect it to be 100%. Your birth chart can tell A LOT of things about you, but much more effort and information is required if you really want a drilled-down analysis.
Is this in-depth?
This particular gig is meant to provide an overall look at a person's destiny and fortune. You will however get a very useful idea on where you stand in life based on the 10 aspects covered, and some of the readings from the text can actually be quite detailed.
What if I get a negative reading?
Please understand that the reading is based on classical Chinese Astrology/Metaphysics. The reading is also delivered as it is and thus, there is a chance that some birth charts may yield totally negative outcomes. This is not a "feel-good" gig — you must be able to handle having your fortune read.
The bright side is, if you get negative outcomes for any or all of the 10 areas, you'll at least know which areas you should improve. Some, but not all birth charts can go into scary detail so please ensure that you truly want or need a reading before proceeding.
What if I get a positive reading?
Some birth charts have very positive outcomes, with little or no negatives mentioned. This does not mean you will not have any negativity in life. It simply means you indeed have good fortune in this life and therefore when any negative things happen, you will ultimately be able to overcome them.
Having a good birth chart doesn't mean you can just do nothing and a pile of gold will appear. You still have to take some form of action. Similarly, you have to make some effort to go out to the shop and buy a ticket first to stand a chance to win the lottery, otherwise it just won't happen.
What's the point?
The point of getting a reading is to be able to avoid what you're bad at and instead, focus on what you're innately good at. For example, if you are most definitely not suited for business, and will do better with a career, you analysis will tell you that in very clear terms.
What should you expect?
The gig mainly inspects your overall capabilities and capacity for victory in life (i.e. whether success is achievable and its magnitude). It touches on how certain aspects of your future may transpire, but please note that it is not a daily, monthly or yearly inspection of your life ahead of you.
What shouldn't you expect?
The gig is not a tell-all guide that will show you exactly how your future will pan out. It will not teach you step-by-step how to succeed. It can, however, set you on the right path if you can correctly interpret the report, accept any shortcomings and be willing to change (most aren't able to).
Who am I?
I am a graduate of the Mastery Academy of Chinese Metaphysics in Malaysia, which was founded by Joey Yap, who is perhaps the world's most authoritative figure when it comes to Chinese Astrology and Metaphysics. Under his tutelage, I successfully completed the certified BaZi (Four Pillars of Destiny) Mastery course. The BaZi Mastery Series provides students with a thorough introduction to the four pillars of destiny, along with an intensive understanding of destiny analysis principles and the requisite skills to practice it with accuracy and precision.
More questions?
Please do not hesitate to contact me.
Note: I am now offering this for $25. You will need to provide me with a 100% accurate birth date and time if you're interested.
submitted by VictoriaCresit to slavelabour [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 09:22 ArtistNeutral Finding someone is hard.

So... I dont know why I'm writing this out but I am.
I am a young person. No, I won't disclose my age. But I haven't had much experience in the love department. Even thou I have a very small amount of experience compared to everyone else in this fucking world with love, but I'm already frustrated.
My first boyfriend, and now ex, lasted about 6 months. I first met him on Reddit and It didn't go too well. He couldn't get the time to spend with me and because we were long-distance, it was even harder to just talk to him over time. We both had mental health problems which might have just exacerbated the issues. We broke it off multiple times. We? Not really honestly. More like I did. I had enough of the relationship so many times, yet I came back to him. It could be the first love bull shit. It could be the hope that I wanted it to work out first try and him become my prince charming. I dont know, but I stayed for longer than I needed to.
My next encounter with a guy I really liked was with someone that was just a wish to get with looking back. We met through a twitch channel that was very gay. I might have just liked him for his looks. He was a pretty boy that seemed so kind and sweet. I could almost tell that he was just aching with feelings and I was pulled to him for that. Even thou this friendship we had was also just online, I couldn't help but try to ask him out and I did, but he said. Siting that we were not local. He would had said yes if we were and that broke for a bit. After a while he kinda just disappeared. I dont know how he is doing now but I hope he is doing well. I feel bad for trying to stick to him instead of moving. I was kinda hoping that he would change his mind, but he never did.
My most recent encounter I still cant get over. This guy, Puppy I'm going to call him, is special. I honestly think he could be the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. To me, he is the most perfect being in the world. He is kind, adorable, loving, charming, and just the person I want to cuddle with on the couch while a soft rain storm is going on. This guy, once again, is online, and all I keep thinking about is how much I want to hold him in my arm. To kiss him. To tell him how much I appreciate him. We tried to make it work. I asked him because he was too afraid to. Litterally. Me and puppy were in a twitch channel, the same one I met the last guy, and I was just talking about how my love life is trash. Just so upset that I cant find a guy who would date me. Puppy said "I would date you if you were local" to which I said "The last guy said the same thing". After a while, Puppy said "I would ask you out, but Im too afraid to" to which I went into his Dms since we already talked once or twice before, and asked him out. To which he said yes. It took a few attempts, but we went on our date. He was busy that weekend, but that Tuesday, he was out and had an hour's car ride to we talked on discord and did a stupid quiz. "36 questions that lead to love" by the New York Times. I wanted to get to know him more and have some fun. It was not like we talked a fuck ton before hand. We texted each other daily for an entire week and a half before the date. The date was honestly wonderful. Even thou it was just a stupid quiz and all we did was talk, I cant help but look back at it as a wonderful time.
Long Story short, after the date, I had a concern. Since I am very young where it would be social unacceptable for an adult to date me and would put his job at risk (he works as a teacher's assistant for Special Needs Kids) we decided to break it off and stop seeing each other. Its been a month or so and I cant get over it. I brought it up. It was my fault. My age. My bring up of the subject. All of it was my fault that we couldn't continue. We went on 1 fucking date. Thats it. Why cant I just get fucking over it? Its 1 person. Yet I fantasize about him being near me. Holding me. Protecting me. Making me feel safe when he is around. I have cried multiple times because of this.
I dint know where else to post this, but I thought a community of LGBTQ+ would be a good spot. Thanks for letting me rant <3
submitted by ArtistNeutral to gaybros [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 09:17 ryanman1999 [L] M21 I'm Hurt And I Feel Stuck

For the past couple years I haven't been ok. It's all a rollercoaster. I can never stay happy and I'm at the point where my depression is consuming me. I'm self destructing so fast I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself from doing something that will end up biting me back.
It all started when I had my heart broken when I was cheated on when I was 18. Maybe love isn't for me because love is like a drug to me. I crave it every aching minute but all I get is bad love. It was a LDR relationship and she was my first true love. We were dating for only 6 months until she did but fuck, all my depression just revolves around getting cheated on and mentally damaged from having my hopes and dreams of being with her crushed.
I am completely over her though. I cut all contact with her. My next relationship ended because I couldn't find it in my heart to love her. It was a couple months after the previous relationship and it did help but it didn't feel right that things never felt the same and she couldn't fulfill what I wanted.
All through 2019 and 2020 I spent single and I just felt numb. I have great friends in my life but we didn't really hang out that much because everyone was busy. I have a friend that I go to when sad but I feel like a burden because he struggles with depression and he's got real problems since my problems feel so petty compared to his so it pains me to want to go to him. I never recall feeling this low that I feel rn. I was just numb everyday. I would do some reckless stuff, like I would speed down roads to feel a little bit of adrenaline until I got a speeding ticket early 2020. 68 in a 40. It's come back to bite me because my insurance sky rocketed, but there's nothing I can really do about it now.
Covid and everything quarantining really just stirred my depression. There goes my plans on visiting my friend in NY, traveling around America and going to amusement parks or beaches. I wanted to have a summer to recover. I was actually starting to do much better in 2020 until covid hit. Online school sucked but I somehow scraped by last semester. All until summewhen school ended it was kinda low but I understood that everyone else was suffering.
When I turned 21 in June, things started to look north. My friends and I would hang out a lot more and made it almost a weekly thing to hang out and we almost played games daily online. I also started to talk with this girl I met through omegle, let's call her C. C and I got along pretty well. I was starting to fall in love with her but I was getting sad. I think the sadness stemmed from starting to feel love and I associated love to all the bad feelings I had. We ended up falling deeply in love with each other and I felt on top of the world. She made me feel special and since I'm a hopeless romantic, I fell deeply in love with her so fast. I didn't care. I finally accepted it to love someone and I loved it. We were both quarantining so we had each other to keep each other company.
Once school started for C, she stopped showing me emotion and it was hard to get love out of her. I held it in at first, but she admitted to being sad and overwhelmed about school and family. She acted differently and was distancing herself from me. I would ask her how she is, and she would say fine but hated talking about her feelings. 3 days ago I finally asked her what was up and asked why she's showing less love and she admitted that she doesn't think she's ready for a relationship and wants to stay friends.
I was broken from that. I wanted to help her but I still don't exactly know why she's sad or why she isn't fit for a relationship. I asked her twice or 3 times but she refused to answer. She used to tell me about her feelings and she would tell me personal things but now she's so shallow and distant. I'm hurt because I'm stuck. We're still friends for now and I think I'm going to ignore that she won't tell me why but it's consuming me. I know it's all her but I feel betrayed. I feel so sad. I know it's normal but this sadness is a lot more severe because my happiness was so fragile and she really was the only thing that was making me happy.
I don't know what to do from here. I used a dating app and I matched with someone and I've been talking to them now for a couple days and the girl is great but I don't feel like I'm clicking with her as well as I did with the other relationships. Maybe I'll be wrong because we've only been talking for the past couple days.
I'm afraid that it's too soon to start a new relationship too. I don't want to hurt C. I still love her and she did say she loves and cares about me still... I don't know if this will be temporary and she'll want to get back together or what the future holds. I know I can't handle just being her friend because it pains me to just hold a numb and shallow friendship with someone. I can't even tell her how sad I am right now because I feel like I annoy her when I do. I want her to think I'm doing ok.
But I'm not doing ok. I drank last night but I ended up crying for 3 hours straight. I was crying at midnight so there was really nobody to talk to. I self destructed and I posted risky tweets and it ended up causing some of my friends to DM me and ask if I was ok. I let them know what's going on but it was all the same. "Things will get better."
Today I spent the day with my friend, exploring and going to the beach and I did feel good but we had some beers. I don't think I was that drunk because I was able to drive just fine but while driving home, I decided to drive as fast as I could. I made it up to 130 mph on the highway and I was still pushing it. I was passing people on single lane roads and I actually almost wiped out on a turn. It didn't phase me at all. I spent the rest of my drive driving wrecklessly and I made it home in one piece. I went straight to my room, locked my door and bawled my eyes out. I told my friend about it but I don't want to make him anymore sad. He's the one with depression.
I'm afraid I'm going to kill myself unintentionally. There are too many people in my life that care and love me so I don't want to die but I'm such an asshole and they don't deserve me. I'm so selfish. I don't know how to get better. I don't know what's going to happen with C and I. I don't know if I should pursue this relationship with this new girl.
Thank you for reading... I just needed to get this off my chest because I don't want to be a burden to anyone else.
submitted by ryanman1999 to KindVoice [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 09:10 briantriscoli 34(M) Scorpio and 25(F) Aquarius, I’m genuinely confused as to whether our feelings are mutual.

We met online during COVID.
We started talking on Facebook, but then ended up exchanging cell phone numbers and texting or video calling (not really a lot of phone calls).
We’ve been talking about about close to 3 months now. We live more than 250 miles from one another, so it’s kind of a long-distance (idk what to call it).
When we talk
When we talk, there’s my POV, and there’s the cold and dispassionate observations to be made. In terms of the latter, responses are within the hour (usually) if via text, mutual exchanges of walls of texts, talking for over an hour each time.
When we video chat, I feel like every 5 minutes, she gives me a compliment about my looks (which I still feel guarded about and doubt how genuine that might be versus conscious attempted flattery). We always have very deep philosophical conversations and cerebral/intellectual discussions about literally anything. So comes off as openly enamored and intrigued, but appearances aside, I’m confused because some part of me wants to take her authenticity on faith and assume she’s being honest, but the other part of me is worried that how she’s really feeling doesn’t really match up.
Things that are concerning me
  1. We’ve been texting for about 3 months now. Not every single day. We had a whole week where we went on not exchanging a single communication. Usually, it’s once every 2-3 days, with some weeks almost every other day, and some weeks where it’s almost every single day back to back. Openly flirting, being totally open and forthcoming about our attraction to one another, our fascination with one another as people, past relationships, etc. (normally, my experience is that someone is either interested in you or she’s not).
  2. She said she wants to be “friends” (allergic to that word in the context of dating) first, and whatever happens happens. She doesn’t want any labels or expectations in terms of bf/gf, or to feel any kind of pressure or expectation for anything (even a text back).
  3. She’s not really as emotionally expressive as I am. Communication is extremely important to me. I make an effort to be as clear and transparent as possible with how I’m feeling towards someone. I’ll hold my heart over them and let them bathe in my blood. But with her, it just seems like her emotional range thus far is: (a) sleeping, (b) stoned/high, (c) curious/adventurous/fun-seeking, (d) flirty / taking things to a sexual direction. I never sense ANY kind of real emotional vulnerability or openness. It just gives me the sense that the way I feel towards her maybe is totally different from how she feels towards me.
  4. She has mentioned “meeting up” at least over ten (10) separate times now ... and we’ve still never met up. We have video chatted for hours, so, I know she’s not a catfish. But she’ll be like, “I can’t wait to meet you,” “When we meet,” “What if I were to drive over to you right now,” “My aunt asked me if I wanted to drive with her to [close to me], if I tag along, I’d love to meet finally meet you!” ... and yet, we still have net met. I respect how important it is for Aquarius to have her space and sense of independence and total freedom. So, when she says those things, I agree with her, and I let her know that I’ll MAKE time for her whenever she wants to meet ... and still no serious ask on her part to actually meet up (i.e., a definite time, date, and place).
  5. Because of my work schedule, my sleep schedule is very unpredictable and it messes with how well I function during the day and messed with my appetite at night. When we talk, it’s usually very late at night (like around 1am to 5am). I’m not the one who calls her around this time. She’s the one who wants to video chat with me around this time. Some days, it’s not an issue. Other days, she always catches me when I’m on a middle of the night Harold and Kumar trip to White Castle or whatever fast food place is open, really. I can’t really safely video chat with her as I’m driving, so I put the phone to the side and just talk to her over the phone. Then I pull over, and I don’t want to be rude or disrespectful, so I’ll literally park in a parking lot or pull the car over and wait until we’re done talking until I start driving the car again. I feel like she gets upset or bothered by this for some reason, and I have no idea what’s offensive or bothersome about it. Maybe she doesn’t want to come across as needy for attention, so she’s always insisting or asking me to drive home as I’m talking to her (as if it’s not late at night and my brain isn’t totally shot and incapable of even having a conversation, much less also being mentally present both on the road and with the person you don’t want to bore).
Those are really the major issues that are concerning me. I appreciate and respect the need for independence and total freedom (personal space, privacy, autonomy, etc.). Funny enough, despite all the Scorpio stereotypes, I’m not great with money, but I’m also not controlling, jealous or possessive in my personal and romantic relationships. I actually enjoy having a partner who is a free bird and being the kind of guy who can be comfortable with that.
But this emotionally detached or devoid style of communication, seeming upset or annoyed at me when I’m just trying to not be rude and show basic courtesy when we’re talking (i.e., being fully mentally present and showing her that she has my full attention; not acting aloof, indifferent or playing hard to get), and her timing and gaps in communication and being so non-committal about actually meeting up ... I almost don’t know how to feel. Maybe it’s an Aquarius thing, or maybe she’s just not really interested and was just bored and looking for male attention and some flirting ... idk.
There are definitely identifiable negatives and challenges ... but my last relationship didn’t fall apart ... it died a very slow and painful 8 year death. So, emotional detachment and lack of sexual chemistry are hard red flags for me. We definitely have sexual chemistry, which I admittedly deflect and instead try to focus on exploring each other’s thinking process, views and analysis about things, and our feelings (especially towards one another). I can tell we’ll be sexually phenomenal, so I don’t want our initial conversations to be dominated by that kind of talk. I find myself desperately wanting to be really into this girl, but I feel like I have to keep my heart on lockdown ... which makes me feel fake an disingenuous with her over this period of time ... as she takes the time and space she needs to form an opinion about me (and whatever she’s looking for with me).
I feel like it’s a total gender role reversal here, and I’m kind of starting to feel for women. “This sucks big nuts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can’t deny ...” (old school hip hop music intensifies).
I want a long-term relationship with this girl. I want to love her ... in the way that she needs and wants to be loved (not on my terms). If part of that is her genuinely needing space and a sense of independence, it may not be my personal preference or style for myself, but that doesn’t mean I can’t respect the way she is. If that’s something she needs in a relationship, it really would be my pleasure to give her that (knowing that it’s basically a way of me expressing love to her, by understanding what she needs and giving it to her, even if it’s different from my own preferred relationship style).
Really, any input is appreciated, but I just want to get an opinion about whether I should just take this as her not really being interested in me, or as this legit being how Aquarius women get into relationships.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read through some random stranger’s personal issues and express an opinion.
TL/dr: Basically, nobody is compelling you to say anything in response to this post if you haven’t read through the whole post.
submitted by briantriscoli to dating_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 09:05 throwawayhesback My (30M) Ex Boyfriend (29M) has come out of the woodwork to blackmail me

I am in a bad sitluration right now my ex has contacted me recently by email and i am in fear he might be getting ready to expose my past to my entire family this is a long post. Backstory:A few years ago i was in a dark place in my life i met a man who we will call Jake during this time we became friends with each other he is also gay i around the time was unsure about my sexuality but needless to say we ended up entering into a relationship with each other he is also a photographer but was not making much money from it i later learned from him that he also had a side gig where he would post videos of himself masturbating on a site called manyvids and he made a decent amount of money from it,anyways to move this along Jake was aware of my financial situation and would give me some money on the side to help me out i had a strained relationship with my family around this time and could not go to them for help Jake was practically my hero and i admit that i loved him, the money he was giving me started to dwindle down as he was starting not make much money from the site anymore so he propositioned me with a idea he wanted me to appear in his videos to boost his views and his earnings on the site he had been wanting to bring in another person on this and would rather do it with someone he trusted and would feel safe with he told me if it turned out to be successful he would split his earnings with me and make sure i was well taken care of,before i agreed to this deal i set up some terms with him i would do it as i was strapped for cash but i did not want my face being shown in the videos in case it came back to bite me in the ass later i never wanted to do porn before,he agreed to my terms and told me i could wear a mask to hide my face and he would edit the videos before uploading them to make sure my face was not shown as he wanted me to perform different sex acts on him we shot different videos for the site and he circulated the videos around different communities online eventually these people liked what they saw and started putting in custom orders especially wanting to see more of me in the videos we filled most of the orders his channel blew up pretty big and he started giving me a hefty amount of money like he said he would do to support me i paid off loans and was living comfortably with this side job thanks to him,i thought i saw a future with him i had plans to come out to my family and was going to introduce him to them but things changed Jake showed me a side of him that i never saw before and made me question things i decided to make plans to exit this relationship i stacked what money i could from him and broke the news to him that i was not interested in continue on with him,he blew up at me and started fighting with me he never laid hands on me just verbally berated me he claimed he was ok with not being with me anymore but pleaded with me to at least record more customs with him to post on his channel i reminded him of my terms which which included me being able to leave anytime if i felt unsure about it anymore he gotten even angrier with me and called me a leech and ungrateful for all the money he gave me and that i used him,he was upset as i was his first serious relationship and was giving me money as he thought partners should help each other i left his place and he called me days later saying that i could leave we both mutually agreed over the phone that it was over i used my money to leave the state and moved someplace else to start over after my new chapter in my life things was starting to look good for me i met a nice woman who we will call Sarah we became a couple and i realised that i was most likely bisexual to fast forward to the current time she would later become my wife i made amends with my family we bought a house and was making plans to have kids,i had the perfect life or so i thought my ex Jake had contacted me through an old email of mine as he randomly looked me up to see how i was doing needless to say he told me was angry after he saw my social media and saw that i was married and well off he told me after i left his life started crumbling around him his channel started to tank in viewership and sales he had to leave his apartment and was forced to move back in with parents who are homophobic it ended up escalating in an email exchange that he wanted me to give him money to help get back on his feet he sent me photos of me naked and told me he still has raw footage of the sex acts i did on him and told me he would send them to my wife and whole family,i ended up sending him some money through paypal to keep him quiet as the job i have pays very well,i know he will keep coming back for more but i am scared that my life will come crashing down if he sends the photos and videos to my family i am wrong and a asshole for not telling my wife that i dated a man before meeting her if my family finds out about my past i am done for any advice is appreciated thank you for reading.
submitted by throwawayhesback to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 09:01 throwthisoneintrash Endurance

From this prompt.
Dr. Chancer stepped back from the array of needles and tubes to admire his creation. Vials of coloured liquid swam through a network of tubes to ultimately reach the needle rack and find their exits on pinpoints of steel. The cell regeneration and memory storage capability he had chemically engineered was too important to leave in the hands of the public so the basement of his run-down suburban home was the only option left to him.
His secrecy also removed the possibility of test subjects. He had a very old rat and a very old cat to indicate a measure of success but it was time for human trials of his “Immortality Injection” as he liked to call it. Unfortunately, he was the only human he knew. Everyone else around him only saw him leave for his mindless job at the cannery and return to his home, slamming the door shut every time.
March 18th, 2025 was the date Dr. Chancer set for his personal immortality journey to begin. He had devised a clever robotic syringe that would inject him with the appropriate liquids in the correct succession. Strapping himself into the chair made for this purpose, he took a deep breath, thought of any reason at all why he would want to maintain his drudgery of a life without this level of risk. When he arrived at exactly zero reasons not to take a risk, he pushed the green button on the arm of the chair.
An automated vehicle pulled up to Dr. Chancer’s latest house as he watched from the top of a nearby hill. It unloaded a mechanical crew that efficiently sanitized and cleaned the house before the new tenants arrived in a public transit vehicle. Their meager possessions arriving moments later on an automated truck.
This was the third time he had faked his own death. As the world became increasingly monitored by the governing corporations, he was forced to come up with more and more creative ways to move on with his life. He could not stay in one place for more than fifty years, it was just too monotonous. However, life was much more comfortable, he could escape into the online world and not come out of it for weeks, as long as his food, water, and waste systems were connected correctly. Since the online world could replicate taste, only the essential nutrients for survival were administered through the feeding systems. Dr. Chancer pondered on how it had affected the population. They were weak, flimsy creatures that did not have goals. They had everything provided for them and it made them less than human in his mind. It transformed them into ghosts.
A mysterious asteroid hummed its way through the cosmos and somehow avoided the eyes of humanity’s proudest scientist. It collided with Earth at such a speed that roughly 78% of all life was destroyed. Dr Chancer was at the epicentre of the collision and witnessed the full power of his regeneration experiment as he bounced back to life moments after the collision. The orbit of the earth was not right after that event. It swayed on a cyclical pattern that moved the world in to seasons of icy storms as the elliptical orbit propelled earth out of the habitable zone and back into the zone with ferocity as it neared the inner edge of what was bearable. The planet was refined in an overwhelming heat that baked away any vegetation that had made progress in the transition period between the ice and the heat.
Dr. Chancer assumed that he was the only human being left on the planet. He travelled across to the side of the planet that was not struck by the asteroid. This process took a gruelling seventy three years, but it was at least comforting to see a side of the world that was not blackened by fire and destruction. This half still felt the effects of the drastic weather changes, but there were mountains and valleys still intact which could shelter some form of life. He hoped that life was out there. He had discovered that his regeneration power had given him freedom from the need for food, but the hunger did not go away. For years, he was like a rabid beast and his mind was not capable of higher thought, until, even the suffering of hunger pangs became just another part of his existence.
One glorious day, Dr. Chancer saw movement in a valley below him. He immediately bolted for the quickest way down into the valley. There, he saw a hairy creature sifting through some cracked rocks, apparently looking for food. He marvelled at the discovery of life. It was not just life, but something that looked very human. It was a hairy creature but did not have the posture or face of an ape.
Dr. Chancer approached the creature, having lost his fear of harm and death centuries ago. He waved at it in a sign of good will. The creature stood up, stretched its powerful muscles and said “Hello.”
Dr. Chancer was awestruck for a moment. This was a human.
“Hello, um, how are you still alive?” Tact and polite conversation were long-forgotten concepts to Dr Chancer.
“I am one of the Strong Ones. We broke off of the weak human civilization as they became more and more dependant on machines, we found ways to hide and live on the land of the earth. We were tough and strong. We hid and were protected by God.”
“So there are more of you?”
“Only the true Strong Ones survived, as the prophesy fortold. Now there are less than twenty left, and only three females left to breed.”
“I am sorry.”
“No! This is good. God has taken the others to a training camp where their souls will grow strong.”
“I don’t know how to ask this, but I don’t know your people. Who is your God?”
The Strong One smiled broadly, “you have seen Him. He came from heaven and brought down the chieftains of this world. He burned the sky and shook the world. He has become a part of the world, giving us the tests of heat and ice to make His people: the Strong Ones.”

So, I have since learned that the whole idea of the earth being pushed into a different orbit is totally incorrect and could never happen.
To that I say... it was magic.
submitted by throwthisoneintrash to TheTrashReceptacle [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 08:49 Tabij56 Vashikaran Specialist in Delhi: One side love problem solution

Vashikaran Specialist in Delhi: One side love problem solution

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2020.09.23 08:22 thegabelaw I feel like such a mess

I'm so pissed. I just forgot to submit an assignment 12 minutes after the due time and had forgotten to submit another one a few days ago and I feel so let down right now. It's been like 3 weeks into online school and I really hate online learning, it just screws up my learning and my schedule and my pace so now I cannot even track of all my assignments that are due and I feel so mad that I keep on missing these important dates and times. I. CANNOT. THRIVE. AT. ALL. I just feel so unmotivated right now, does anyone else feel the same? I feel like my grades are going to be so screwed up because of the situation we are in when I know I have potential to do better if things were in-person. I also have no one to rant about this so that's why I'm just expressing it on here, i hope yall dont mind. :(
submitted by thegabelaw to UBC [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 08:13 HoldenDarko The story of my long-term relationship ending and where I am now.

last fall, my (23M) s/o (23F) lost both her aunt and uncle to cancer. they took care of her since she was little, so they were more like her mother and father. her uncle died in october, and her aunt died 6 weeks later in november. after they passed, we moved out of our apartment and into their house in december to take care of her younger brothers. in january she became distant and told me she felt like she didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. i read articles online about how typically when someone in a relationship’s parent(s) dies, the relationship fails like 9/10 times. in april, she broke up with me, ending our 5.5 year relationship. i had moved out completely about two weeks later. it absolutely crushed me, and i went through an extremely depressive episode for a few months. i had nowhere else to go, so i ended up having to move back into my parents house until i can get back on my feet again.
my feelings about the breakup have improved, and i have been moving on and accepting that it is in my past now. i’ve been doing much better. i’ve just been focused on work and making money, and i bought myself a new car. i’m focusing on myself, and it feels like the first time in my life where i am living for myself and not for everyone else. still, life feels very stagnant now, and i feel like i have no idea what to do next or where to go from here. being single again has been nice, and i’m not focused on getting into any relationships again any time soon, but i often feel extremely alone. not lonely, but alone. when i spend time with friends, it is nice, but when i get home and i am by myself i start feeling depressed. i don’t think it’s that i immediately miss my friends or anything, but it’s just that i feel very sad when i am at home by myself. i don’t have any problems going out by myself. hell, i drove two hours to chicago the other day by myself just to get pizza because i had nothing else to do. but it is when i am at home at night, i feel very alone and hopeless.
when i was growing up, i hated being at home. when i turned 18 i moved out and it was better, but not by much. when i was about 19/20 my girlfriend and i got our place together, and it was much better. i loved being at home and it was my favorite place to be. i always knew that i was a homebody but never enjoyed my home until then.
after about 2 months, i didn’t feel so depressed anymore. after 3 months, i started to feel like i could be more social again. it has been over 5 months since the breakup and now i feel like i want to start talking to new people. my main goal isn’t to start any relationships, but if that happens naturally and it is healthy then that would be great. i haven’t been single since i was 17, and i never thought about that until now. i feel like i have no idea how to flirt or talk to new people because i never needed to do that for 5.5 years. not only that, but the last time i was flirting or making any moves was when i was 17, so i feel like could be behind on how to talk to girls being in my 20’s. i just want to meet new people, get to know them and have experiences.
it’s rough because i don’t feel myself attracted to people often at all. i mean, i see attractive girls at work and sometimes i’ll catch myself daydreaming about how beautiful they are, but then if i am around them i don’t feel any desire to make a move because they don’t seem like the kind of person i’d like to be with. even as a teenager, it always felt like it was very rare when i would actually find someone that intrigued me enough to make an effort to talk to them. i’m not interested in dating for fun or anything because personally i would prefer to date someone with the intent to stay together because i don’t want to waste time being with someone if it isn’t going to last.
i’ve been told throughout my life that i am an attractive person, but i have never really felt like it. i remember a time when i was younger, my dad was talking to his friend about me and said something like, “when i see him with other people, he’s got so many girls that are into him but he never wants anything to do with ‘em”. when my friends were cheering me up once they were telling me “i’m not gonna lie to you, chicks love you man. you could walk into any bar and pick someone up. i always hear girls saying ‘omg u/HoldenDarko is so attractive!’ i was also on the homecoming court in high school two years in a row, but felt very bad about it because i felt like i didn’t belong there. i think that because i was, that at least says i have a reputation as a respected and likeable person.
i don’t really like saying those things because i don’t want to seem egotistical or anything, but i am venting anonymously to strangers online, so there’s nothing i can really gain from that. what i am trying to say is, if i have people literally telling me i am an attractive person, how come i don’t feel like i am at all? i’m very awkward and modest and shy, and i’m really bad at small talk. i want to be able to get over all of these things to be able to get out there and meet new people.
i have kind of always felt this way, but i think the breakup i went through really messed me up and left me feeling hopeless and confused. my ex made me feel like i was a manipulative person. i am confused because i constantly wonder who was right or wrong, or if she was the one who was manipulative and made me feel bad for the things she felt bad about, or if i really am just a manipulative person. i know that i have been in the wrong before, and she has also been in the wrong before. i feel like i have no idea if i was manipulative or not and i constantly feel guilt because sometimes i feel like i am just a terrible person who made her feel bad or something. i think that i should just stop thinking about it because it is getting me nowhere, but i can’t help but wonder if i am a bad person or not. i know that i do good things for others and i try to be a good person, but deep down i just feel like i am worthless or i am truly a terrible person. i don’t want to feel like i am a bad person because my relationship failed. i just want to be the best person i can be.
thank you to anyone who has read all of this. i appreciate you. i was feeling awful so i started writing this, and at this point i am already feeling better after getting it all out.
submitted by HoldenDarko to offmychest [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 08:10 HeisenbergCow should i give up?

Hello, I will try to summarize my case as much as possible, well the situation is the following: a friend introduced me to a girl telling me that maybe I should start dating her, well, at first I was not very sure about doing it but finally decided to so i wrote to her, we started talking, and I tried to flirt with her. I think it was unrequited, I also tried to ask her out just to see how everything was going and finally meet her so i told her that if she wanted to go with me to eat something and she accepted, we were at a certain time in a certain place, my surprise is that we see each other that day and she did not touch on the subject of the appointment, nor did she propose to go out and fulfill our commitment. I really did not do it because I felt that she had rejected me, then in that. At the moment I did not continue insisting, that same night I wrote to her that she had not wanted to go out with me, she said that she had forgotten it and that I did not remember her either so I decided to invite her for a next opportunity, she accepted again. One day before he said that he would not be able to go, but we kept talking, there was even a third attempt, also with excuses
But after that came quarantine when we started talking and we became very close, we did everything together really everything we talked from that we woke up until we fell asleep. She was always interested in talking to me, we watched movies, series, took online courses, etc.

It's finally been all this time and I've asked her on several occasions if she refused to date me and always denies it. As I am a little tired of continuing in a friendship relationship, when I have always sought to have something more, and when I obviously fell in love in quarantine, I asked a friend to ask her if she had felt anything for someone in quarantine, and she responds that the person for whom she feels something, feels it since before quarantine, and that in quarantine she feels that her feeling has been strengthened but that she was not in love. The point is that I am convinced that this person is not me, I do not understand the reasons that will lead her to continue with the idea that at some point she wanted to go out with me, if she felt things for another person.

I want him to finish all this, but to do it I do not intend to hurt him, I do not want to ghosting because I am interested, but I do not know if the right thing is to express my feelings again, and ask him that I need my space to overcome things and maybe in a future, regain a friendship. I could also wait for the quarantine to be lifted in my country and we can meet in person to try something, but I don't know, I think there is a long time for that and I am desperate.

Help me please.
submitted by HeisenbergCow to Friendzone [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 07:53 VegendaryAvocado Advice For Anyone Who Wants It

I wrote up a big, long post in response to someone asking for advice on how to improve their game play. The post was removed from my understanding but I didn't want all my time to have gone to waste so I decided to post it here in case anyone else was looking for ways to improve or for people who are interested in other people's approach and strategies. I wrote it in a direct way in my response but I don't feel like changing everything to be less personal and direct so please don't feel like I'm trying to tell you what to do or how to do it.
It's a long one, so buckle up.
Tl;Dr Spend less than you earn; buy with longevity in mind; and look at how other people succeed.
I wanna start off by saying that the high score looks people share are highlights. There's nothing wrong with that, but it isn't common to get a TL or BLIL very often, at least in my experience. I've gotten one BLIL and one TL in the four years I've been playing (lvl 60 now). So please don't feel the need to compare your scores to the really good ones people post here, those are mostly for celebrating those achievements and milestones.
Next I'd say you should figure out for yourself how important this game is to you. By that I mean you need to figure out if a TL or BLIL is what you're striving for, if you're playing for fun but hoping to get good scores, or if you're just a casual player who doesn't really care about the scores or prizes and is just there to have fun.
I'll give you suggestions as if you're gonna go hardcore. I see the benefits in joining an FB group so that you can borrow more items and get inspo, but I personally haven't ever and won't ever because I don't like FB. But if you do, it definitely seems useful and like a good way to save cash. You can also get inspo online from places like Pinterest and IG which will give you an idea of what's trending and ideas on how to pair difficult items. I think it's helpful as well to look at the Top Looks for different challenges and see what scored well for other people and how they put together an outfit together. Don't be shy to ask for advice from your fashion house. A lot of times, people have good suggestions and insights that are very helpful.
What I personally do is go through the five-six challenges within a 24 hour timeframe and choose the one with the most expensive item that I don't want to buy and I borrow it from someone in my house if they have it. I'd suggest you check if anyone has it before you buy the other challenge requirements because I've made the mistake of not checking first and then no one having that item so then I have to buy it anyways, not enter the challenge and take a loss on the other items I bought, or borrow a less expensive item and try to break even. Always borrow an item every day, though. It'll save you money and it'll keep you from having to buy something if you think it's ugly or you think you won't use it ever again. Always enter the daily challenge, always, especially if you're toggled on in a rally.
Depending on the fashion house you join, you'll have different requirements for rallies. For the time being, I'd recommend you join one that rallies on classic because it'll be easier to manage challenges that way and you'll be able to skip over expensive ones if you can't afford them.
Now on to the fun part: buying and styling. You'll notice through flashbacks that they usually require very expensive jewelry and some expensive clothing pieces. For that reason, I try to save up money or diamonds and buy expensive jewelry to not only use it to boost the season if I've gone OOS, but also so that I can potentially use it multiple more times in flashbacks. It's all about longevity and quality over quantity for me because I made some bad decisions early on that hindered me from leveling up and being able to save money to enter $200 challenges. By that I mean I look at the wearability of the item I'm buying. I look for things that I'll be able to use many, many times across many different challenges.
For dresses, I like colors like black, gray, red, pink, purple, blue, green, gold, silver, and white ballgowns/elegant dresses - black is good for any "dark, mysterious, evil, wicked, jealous, witch, magical" looks as well as vampire and halloween challenges; gray is good for "smokey, hazy, mysterious, ghost" looks; red is good for date night, anything related to fire, and "powerful, fierce, royal, sultry" looks; purple is good for "fairy, witch, goddess, whimsical, powerful" looks; pink is good for "soft, flowery, delicate, princess, maid of honor, fairy" looks; blue is good for mermaid and any water and winter looks; green is good for any nature, royalty, and holiday looks; gold is good for any "goddess, queen, classy, retro, chic, holiday, desert" looks; silver is good for any "NYE party, winter, cold, frigid" looks; and finally, white is good for "wedding, angelic, pure, ghost, icy, and retro" looks. I try to buy on the medium to high range for these items because I know they'll be useful many times across many challenges so it's better to splurge and get the beautiful, expensive ones that I know will score better than to buy the cheaper ones that'll do the job but won't be as useful or get as good of scores. I personally don't buy many short dresses because it isn't really my preference, but when I have to, I go for sequined and sparkly ones; black, red, or white ones; and ones that look good with a jacket layered over them.
In terms of jackets, I tend to buy a lot of black leather ones; nice blazers that can be used for office/professional looks; denim; and white ones that look good with jeans or over a dress.
I rarely buy shirts but when I do, I again stick to buying higher value ones that can be used for anything. Think black and white tees, nice plaid ones, any color that has such a fit and style that it looks good tucked into jeans or a skirt, and honestly any crop top that I see and like.
For sweaters I recommend neutral tones and flattering fits. I rarely buy ones with prints and stick more to ones that have a unique design such as a knot on the side. They're good to have for any fall/cozy/pajama looks.
For skirts, I typically buy medium to low range value ones that are either pencil skirts for office/professional challenges; long, flowy ones for when I need something to dress up a required shirt to make it look more elegant and classy (like "style a look for a millionaire beside a luxury pool"); and lastly a small collection of mini skirts for challenges where those would be good (like "style a look for a shopping/brunch date with friends").
For pants, I buy on the medium to high range, but I will buy cheaper ones if they're cute. I tend to stick to black, blue, and white jeans; long, flowy pants (again for "style a look for a model walking around NYC on Saturday morning") anything that can be used for hippie/traveling the world vibes; and pants that are appropriate for office/professional looks.
I have a very small collection of shorts but I stick to cute denim ones, black ones, and ones that look good for retro/pinup challenges.
Shoes. Oh, shoes. This is where Covet loves to make indistinguishable differences in shoes and make them cost $400 per pair but then require a different, seemingly duplicate, pair of shoes when it looks like you already have that exact pair. laughing, not laughing So, I recommend you choose shoes very carefully. I try to check all the challenges and see if a shoe will discreetly be required again. What I mean by this is that some challenges will give you like five or six different shoe options to buy from, but then another challenge farther down will require one of the shoes that you could have chosen from the previous challenge. Sneaky little spies they are, and I've fallen into this trap before and kicked myself for not checking other challenges first. So definitely check, lmao. Other than that, black, white, and red pumps are always useful; black and brown booties and knee high boots; sandals that'll look cute for mermaid/water challenges; and sneakers that'll look good with jeans, skirts, and the occasional dress.
I rarely buy leggings but a cute pair is useful for yoga/active challenges. There's also a nice pair that works great as a leather pants dupe that is so much more affordable. The only drawback is that you can't tuck shirts in so that can be a hassle.
Jumpsuits are nice sometimes so I have a few of those. I stay away from the ones that don't have a flattering fit and have prints. I like full length or short short ones and no in-between. There are also ones that resemble swimsuits that are very useful for magician or pop singer challenges.
Socks are pretty much useless, except for maybe one or two pairs.
It's good to have a few different colors of hosiery. Colors like black and nude, ones with a fun print that'll dress up a skirt or shorts, definitely the fishnets they have, and any that'll look good for space/retro/student challenges.
Vests can be good, just depends on what you like. I personally rarely use them aside from the Covet Collection pieces.
Swimsuits are good to have. I recommend neutral colors, as always. Specifically ones that you can put under a pair of pants or a skirt. Other than that, bikini bottoms are excellent for if you need to have some kind of bottom on under an overskirt or a pair of pantyhose but don't want to ruin your look with pants or shorts. Medium to expensive one piece suits have always been the most useful for me personally.
For bags, I buy a lot of neutral toned clutches because that's my preference, but I also buy a lot of black hand bags. I don't like crossbody bags or over-the-shoulder bags at all. It's also useful to have a couple nice backpacks.
Accessories. Some of the most interesting pieces on the game. I love hats in general so I buy a lot of hats, but again, I buy expensive ones in smaller quantities rather than every single one I can afford at the time. Floral and lace hats are amazing, definitely need those; you need a couple different good cowboy hats, beanies, maybe one or two ballcaps, and any wide brimmed hat that catches your fancy. It's also good to have one that you can use for pilot , detective, equestrian, magician, and witch looks. I also like to have a really nice one for winter looks, I forget what they're called but they're a Russian style of hat that I think is so nice and stylish.
Scarves are also useful, but they usually need to be neutral tones with minimal prints and a style that'll be good for a lot of different challenges. Think ones that are wrapped tightly like for fall/winter looks, ones that are loose and flowy for effortless but put together looks, and then small ones that look good with a dress or a shirt should a challenge require it.
Same with gloves, stick to neutral tones and flattering fits. You'll pretty much only need gloves for fall/winter looks and the occasional magician/professional of some kind (chef, doctor, detective), and sometimes royal/Victorian looks.
Glasses and sunglasses are fun and pretty useful in neutral tones. I like black, gray, and white sunglasses and black, gray, brown, and rimless glasses. The occasional pop of color is good, too, though.
And finally, the most frustrating part for last: jewelry. As I mentioned earlier, expensive pieces are more useful and have better longevity. Similarly to the shoe debacle, check all the challenges to see if one or two pieces of jewelry will be required again and then plan accordingly. I like to get pieces that you can't really see because sometimes I need to boost the season but I don't like the way a bracelet or pair of earrings clutters up my look so if it's more subtle, it's better. Other than that, I stick to silver and black because it's my preference, but gold is always useful as well as light pink. It's really up to you and what you like, but I prefer more subtle jewelry. You'll also start to notice brand trends in flashbacks, so I'd recommend paying attention to those brands and buying their jelwery if you can.
I'd recommend you buy any and all Covet Collection pieces you can because they always come in handy.
To wrap this all up, I'd recommend you look at the value of the prize compared to the amount of money you'll need to spend to fulfill requirements. So if the prize is $100 on entry and an ugly tee worth $200, but the requirements are a $150 bracelet that you'll be able to use again and a dress you already have, then to me it's worth it to enter that challenge because you'll be able to use the bracelet many times and you can use the tee to boost unworn or put it under a jacket or sweater if you need to. However, if the prize is $100 on entry and an ugly tee worth $200, but the requirements are a $400 skirt and a $300 pair of earrings, it isn't worth it to me to enter that challenge. I'd recommend doing this until you get more advanced in the game and can afford to "waste" money on an ugly requirement if you happen to like the prize.
In regards to hair and makeup, it's no secret that blonde hair almost always seems to get better scores than dark hair and especially better than any fun dyed colors. Long hair almost always scores better than short hair. Updos usually score better in office/retro challenges. Buns usually score better in space/sci-fi/student challenges. Dyed colors occasionally do good in watefire/nature/punk/pop/emo/skater challenges.
In terms of hair accessories, you'll be off to a good start if you can get a veil, the pink flower one, a crown, and a dark crown.
For makeup, it seems like neutral looks score the best. Sometimes a red lip will do okay for me, but neutral usually scores better. I try to color coordinate my outfits and match the lipstick accordingly, but sometimes it scores very poorly. You can play with fun makeup if you want, but it'll usually score poorly in my experience. I've stopped caring about the scores I get and instead style a look that I really like. So if I want to use black or gray lipstick and a smokey eye paired with silver hair, I will. Shrug
That's pretty much all I can think of at the moment. Save as much money as you can, save as many diamonds as possible, and most importantly, just have fun. It's easy to get discouraged by low scores or by comparing your look to one that has really fancy level 75 hair and makeup, but in my opinion, it's better to appreciate them from afar and keep chugging along and making your own progress. I've also found it encouraging and interesting to write down on my calendar whenever I get to the next level. It keeps things in perspective for me and helps me remember to enjoy the new hair and makeup more (in the spirit of living in the present and being mindful and grateful, ya know). It definitely helps, and it's fun to see how long it took to level up because it'll gradually take less time as you keep getting higher up.
submitted by VegendaryAvocado to Covetfashion [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 07:20 mainvpshosting What is URL Hijacking?

In this era where the businesses are covering the extreme point, URL hijacking is one of the most sturdy issues that is coming forward in nowadays, whether it is a Startup or a renowned organization, everyone is having their website depending according to their services, data, and customer.
More than unlike, the website is hosted daily on various servers, but the main important perspective is security. URL hijacking is the famous expedition to break down the security of the website by changing the URL of the original website, implicating and dragging the visitors from the original website to another hacked website that has not been searched by that person.
In URL hijacking the original URL is being converted to another URL i.e. Original URL is hidden and the person is pulled down to another website. So, to protect this kind of URL hijacking issues cybersecurity experts have hired that act as a savior to our website.
All the problems related to URL hijacking can be seen particularly on those kinds of websites that do not have SSL certification so this is the first problem to get into the URL hijacking. This technique is done to reduce the traffic which comes to our website to transfer your traffic to another website which is not the information you are looking about.
So we can say that your URL hijacking is a process in which the URL has been removed from the search Indian index and replaced by another URL, in this way the ranking has also been abolished and there are plenty of visitors to drop day by day.
Main VPS is there to help you out with the following points that should be kept in mind while hosting a website and preventing it from URL hijacking:
1. It is recommended to use a website firewall to protect your URL not to be redirected to another URL. This will protect you all URLs and if someone tries to replace your URL with another URL, it will act as a barrier between them.
2. It’s not suggested to connect your machine with the public LAN or Wi-Fi with a mysterious password, and your privacy creates a good source of URL conversion. People are unaware of these kinds of problems that can directly attack our machine, PC with public Wi-Fi.
3. There is a lot of software and plugins available online like websites that dance with all kinds of Malware worms and other defective threads which may affect your website that has been hosted on a server.
4. Another point to keep in mind is live software as it should be up to date because hackers mainly attack those systems which have not been updated.
5. Google is providing its feature to secure your URL and your website to stop an unwanted redirection of your URL to another URL.
This is some information that should be aware of those people who are running their website. Besides hosting and domain there are various other services needed for a website to protect and keep it safe.

#hijacking #Url #sslcertificates #securewebsite #websitehosting #hosting #Online #VPS #USA #Webhosting #mainvps #mainvpsprovider
submitted by mainvpshosting to u/mainvpshosting [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 06:40 derailer9 Does anyone have any advice on seeing yourself as a bad person for failing to practice normal things in relationships

I'm thirty years old, and among other things I learned in a recent breakup is that I'm supposed to ask my S.O. how their day was, and care about certain things she was excited about that I had no interest in. It makes perfect sense to me now that I know, and have had some help in learning that those sort of things help them feel valued in the relationship, but I feel like a terrible person when I realize I was hurting her by not doing these things. I feel like most of my interactions with friends and people I've dated are often very calculated, like I have to remember all these rules, and frankly I'm beginning to feel like I'm a bad person and I'm selfish beacuse I don't fill the emotional needs of the people in my life. I feel completely exhausted, especially trying to date again, beacuse I still feel like there are these rules I'm not following and don't understand that keep kicking me out of the game. I'm fairly attractive I'm told, built my own house and business, and have frequent opportunities dating online but reliably end up getting ghosted or just the slow fade as they loose interest. It's like there's some undertone in the conversation I can't grasp, and I feel like I'm always missing something, or I come across as a jerk
submitted by derailer9 to aspergers [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 06:40 derailer9 Does anyone have any advice on seeing yourself as a bad person for failing to practice normal things in relationships

I'm thirty years old, and among other things I learned in a recent breakup is that I'm supposed to ask my S.O. how their day was, and care about certain things she was excited about that I had no interest in. It makes perfect sense to me now that I know, and have had some help in learning that those sort of things help them feel valued in the relationship, but I feel like a terrible person when I realize I was hurting her by not doing these things. I feel like most of my interactions with friends and people I've dated are often very calculated, like I have to remember all these rules, and frankly I'm beginning to feel like I'm a bad person and I'm selfish beacuse I don't fill the emotional needs of the people in my life. I feel completely exhausted, especially trying to date again, beacuse I still feel like there are these rules I'm not following and don't understand that keep kicking me out of the game. I'm fairly attractive I'm told, built my own house and business, and have frequent opportunities dating online but reliably end up getting ghosted or just the slow fade as they loose interest. It's like there's some undertone in the conversation I can't grasp, and I feel like I'm always missing something, or I come across as a jerk
submitted by derailer9 to aspergers [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 06:40 appleandspice_ 32 [F4M] - I dare you to moooove~

Heya! 👋
I posted here before, had some nice chats that unfortunately fizzled out. So here I am trying my luck again!
First of all, I am looking for connections that will hopefully lead to meeting in person. So I am ideally looking for someone in Sydney or within a reasonable distance. Prefer someone 28+ years old.
So a bit about me!
I tried online dating apps on and off for the past few months, the more I try it, the more I realize that it is simply not for me.
Happy to chat more and share pics. 😊
submitted by appleandspice_ to r4rSydney [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 06:35 RemovalsFinder Removals Finder

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submitted by RemovalsFinder to u/RemovalsFinder [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 06:18 sad_but_cute00 How would I know If a guy is serious?

So I haven’t tried online dating until last Sunday when I was too stressed with doing school works that I decided to install tinder so I’d have an excuse to ditch my readings. So there was this one guy that I met and we started hitting it off at twitter then eventually moved to messenger and now follows me on Instagram and asked me to make steam account so we could play sometimes. He has showed interest on meeting up in person as he already asked me several time to have coffee but I declined as I don’t wanna catch covid plus my online classes doesn’t allow me to go out (lots of reqs plus prelims coming up). We did talked about getting serious but taking it slow and steady. He did said he was interested in me as he hasn’t vibe with anyone and it took him almost years to find someone like me. I dont know if i’m gonna believe him or what, I’m new to online dating.
submitted by sad_but_cute00 to dating [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 06:05 arknarcoticcrop Dealing with breakup on top of already being extremely depressive/suicidal [20M]

Warning that this will probably be a bit rambling and possibly incoherent at parts as there's a lot that plays into my current situation....
For a long time now I've not been able to shake the feeling that life just isn't worth it at a baseline, and with extreme emotional pain compounded on top of that, I have really reached a breaking point I feel. I fully understand the stigma against self diagnosing mental health issues, but I am as certain as can possibly be without an official diagnosis that I suffer from OCD which cripples my ability to function in a number of ways and seems to perforate almost every aspect of my life (immense body image issues, unending compulsive behaviointrusive thoughts, need for absolute conformity to routine, insanely over the top hygiene/grooming rituals, a lot of other things). I've learned somewhat recently as well that I am most likely to some degree autistic which my parents chose not to disclose to me as a kid because they thought it might hinder me if I felt different. I have always had immense social anxiety and really only have 2 close friends, one of which is my now ex-girlfriend. I also have just naturally held an extremely pessimistic view on life since a pretty early age which has developed into full blown nihilism with age. There are many other underlying mental issues I experience which I won't get into, but I just want to establish here that I'm not exactly a mentally healthy individual. Again, please don't hate me for self-diagnosing, I am just trying to paint a full picture here of my mental health to the best of my ability.
I should mention that I am currently in my 3rd year of college and am in theory doing online coursework due to covid. I have not yet begun on a single piece of classwork after 3 weeks due to my aforementioned mental health challenges, but at the end of it that is a fairly insignificant problem in my life currently. I don't have any real ambition in life. I lack passion and even if I had one I feel applying it to any form of career or work would ruin it anyway. I've had jobs and done pretty well academically to this point (with a decline getting into college), but I still have no hope for a future where I can happily provide for myself, and the thought of working in any form just crushes my spirit due to how mentally exhausting it is for me to socialize in any capacity or even to function at a high enough level to get myself out of bed in the morning.
Now to get into the breakup, this happened a few days ago. All signs point to it being permanent but the same happened almost exactly a year ago, lasted a couple months, and then we ended up getting back together, but currently I'm operating on the assumption things are over, and its crushing me. We had been together for almost 3 years since my last year of highschool and have only ever dated each other. I was honestly lost contemplating life after high school until we got together, and pretty much my entire source of hope for the future has come from this relationship since then.
Now I must confess I am a shitty partner due to a lot of the reasons I've mentioned and a whole lot more. I am an extreme emotional burden and so depressive and negative that I end up being such a drain. A big piece of that is that my ex has been the only person I've ever really been myself with or confided in, so unfortunately she took time and time again the full burden of my perpetually distressed mental state.
I'm living right now for the chance things might work out between us, but right now that's not looking good and it honestly is making me just want to call it an end here. I'm really only living for the slim hope of a reconciliation and to avoid causing pain to my family. The last time we broke up it only got worse for me by the day and was an absolute living hell that is already starting again. I truly did not think I was going to live past the end of last winter before I ended up getting back together with my girlfriend. I know the cliches of it taking time to move on but I honestly don't see that happening me being the person that I am. I feel beyond a doubt that if my ex were to ever end up in another relationship it would be the ending point of my life.
I've been at a suicidal low point for a while now, already having barely gotten out of bed or eaten for weeks-months, and now I've lost the only thing in my life that ever gave me hope for the future or genuine joy/companionship in the present. I don't think I am capable of ever being in another relationship, but that is not even so much of a problem for me as it is to contemplate a future without the only person who really knows me and who I love extremely deeply. I don't really even know why I am making this post other than to vent and distract myself from the pain I am in.
Thank you if you have read this, I hope it made sense. I am an absolute mess right now and can barely keep track of my thoughts let alone words.
submitted by arknarcoticcrop to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 06:00 MrBKainXTR LoK Rewatch Season 4 Episode 3: "The Coronation"

Book Four Balance: Chapter Three
Previous Hub Next
Spoilers: For the sake of those that haven't watched the full series yet, please use the spoiler tag to hide spoilers for majospecific plot points that occur in episodes after the one being discussed.
Discord: Discuss on our server as well.
Fun Facts/Trivia:
-The script for the episode featured the council meeting between Suyin and the world leaders, but was cut.
-Kuvira was purposely designed to be similar to Korra in height, build, and personality traits, as to make it so that "Korra has to deal with overcoming a version of her past self".
-The layout and construction of the Little Ba Sing Se Fashion Mall resemble that of a tulou, a type of communal residence native to Fujian, China.
-Kuvira is a Hindi name meaning "courageous woman"
As Wu prepares for his coronation, Mako harbors his doubts about the prince's readiness for the duties of a king. At the coronation ceremony, downsized because most of the royal artifacts have been looted, Wu honors Kuvira with a medal, but she declares his authority illegitimate, claiming herself to be the head of the new Earth Empire and threatening to crush anyone who opposes her rule. Although he has been anointed king, Wu commands little to no respect among his people, which Mako brings to his attention. With a conflict imminent, Tenzin orders his three eldest children to search for Korra and bring her back to Republic City. Meanwhile, in the Foggy Swamp, Korra trains with Toph Beifong, who reveals that Korra's body still contains residual traces of mercury. Toph abandons her attempt to remove it after Korra subconsciously fought against her actions and asserts that Korra has accepted the poison as an excuse to avoid being the Avatar.

This episode was directed by Melchior Zywer and written by Joshua Hamilton.
Air Date: October 17, 2014 (Online), November 28, 2014 (Nicktoons)
submitted by MrBKainXTR to legendofkorra [link] [comments]

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